Thanks to the arrival of
Nigel Farage at GB News, the veteran newsman now finds himself among the mops and Domestos
A woman I went on a blind date with in 1988 told me that witches she knew would consort with the devil at midnight, on the meadow by the river outside the town where I was a student. Soon after I decided to become a standup comedian, I sought them out, in the shadow of a ruined abbey, where the cursed remains of Henry II’s mistress Rosamund were destroyed in the dissolution. A bearded middle-aged man in a black polo neck and a pentangle pendant, a cliched look he nonetheless owned convincingly, stated terms on which I could be guaranteed to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. And, like a bloody fool, I accepted them. As promised, in 2018 the Times newspaper declared me the “world’s greatest living standup”. But I know the cost of that accolade. Deals with the devil have a habit of turning sour.
In 1930, at the age of 19, the travelling troubadour Robert Johnson stood at midnight, lit by the
moon, at the crossroads of Highways 49 and 61, in Clarksdale, Mississippi, and sold his soul to Papa Legba in exchange for unprecedented blues power. On 13 June 2021, at the age of 94 and a half, the respected veteran newsman Andrew Neil stood in a studio in Paddington Basin, lit by some battery-operated torches bought from an all-night garage in the Harrow Road, and sold his soul, and his reputation, to GB News chief executive Roberto Rastapopoulos™®. What did Andrew Neil want in exchange for his precious essence? Money? Power? Some hair? And what did Andrew Neil get? Public humiliation, the loss of his hard-won reputation, the chance to play second fiddle to Nigel Farage and a tasty feast of hard cheddar, humble pie and human excrement. And no hair.